Post by ForeverBigBlue on Jun 13, 2002 7:29:17 GMT -5
Your Jedi Knight Might Be a Redneck If...
(1) - if he uses his lightsaber to cut the bottlecap off a beer
(2) - if he says "these are not the beers you're looking for"
(3) - if that "Disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans and spare ribs
(4) - if the inside of the house looks more like Dagobah than the outside
(5) - if he calls his young apprentice, "Juner.(JR.)"
(6) - if he ever uses telekinesis to pull his jeans up
(7) - if the Force isn't the only thing that runs in the family
(8) - if he calls Hank Williams Jr."master"
(9) - if his landspeeder has a gun rack
(10) - if he meditiates to old CCR records
(11) - if he calls Yoda his Li'l green buddy.
(12) - if he has ever said, "Anger... fear...aggression... Yankees... the dark side are they."
(13) - if his X-Wing has a still in it
(14) - if his lightsaber has a beer can crusher in the base
(15) - if there is more oil in his robes than in his astromech droid
(16) - if his robes have the Golden Flour label on them
(17) - if he trim his beard and finds a Mynock
(18) - if he has ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill
(19) - if he uses Jawas for a drink holder
(20) - if he fights with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other
(21) - if he uses a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer truck
(22) - if he uses his Jedi healing powers to clear up his VD
(23) - if he thinks the best use of your light saber is picking his teeth
(24) - if he ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because he had to spit.
(25) - if his Jedi robe is Camouflage colored
(26) - if at least one wing of his X-Wing is primer colored
(27) - if he can easily describe the taste of an Ewok
(28) - if he can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks
(29) - if he think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets
(30) - if he has ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling
(31) - if his father ever said to him, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
(32) - if he's ever had his R-2 unit use its arc welding torch to get the barbecue grill to light
(33) - if he jump-starts his lightsaber off a car battery
(34) - if he beat the Gamorrean Guard in an "Ugly" contest
(35) - if his father's name is Garth Vader
(36) - if he got his lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids
(37) - if he's ever beaten up Han Solo for lookin at his sister
(38) - if he constantly mistakes R2 units for beer kegs
(39) - if he counts B. O. as a Jedi power
(40) - if he's ever used a light saber to skin a deer
BluebloodJim - sure hope you enjoy that list. When I saw it, I immediately thought of you! ;D
(1) - if he uses his lightsaber to cut the bottlecap off a beer
(2) - if he says "these are not the beers you're looking for"
(3) - if that "Disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans and spare ribs
(4) - if the inside of the house looks more like Dagobah than the outside
(5) - if he calls his young apprentice, "Juner.(JR.)"
(6) - if he ever uses telekinesis to pull his jeans up
(7) - if the Force isn't the only thing that runs in the family
(8) - if he calls Hank Williams Jr."master"
(9) - if his landspeeder has a gun rack
(10) - if he meditiates to old CCR records
(11) - if he calls Yoda his Li'l green buddy.
(12) - if he has ever said, "Anger... fear...aggression... Yankees... the dark side are they."
(13) - if his X-Wing has a still in it
(14) - if his lightsaber has a beer can crusher in the base
(15) - if there is more oil in his robes than in his astromech droid
(16) - if his robes have the Golden Flour label on them
(17) - if he trim his beard and finds a Mynock
(18) - if he has ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill
(19) - if he uses Jawas for a drink holder
(20) - if he fights with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other
(21) - if he uses a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer truck
(22) - if he uses his Jedi healing powers to clear up his VD
(23) - if he thinks the best use of your light saber is picking his teeth
(24) - if he ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because he had to spit.
(25) - if his Jedi robe is Camouflage colored
(26) - if at least one wing of his X-Wing is primer colored
(27) - if he can easily describe the taste of an Ewok
(28) - if he can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks
(29) - if he think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets
(30) - if he has ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling
(31) - if his father ever said to him, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
(32) - if he's ever had his R-2 unit use its arc welding torch to get the barbecue grill to light
(33) - if he jump-starts his lightsaber off a car battery
(34) - if he beat the Gamorrean Guard in an "Ugly" contest
(35) - if his father's name is Garth Vader
(36) - if he got his lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids
(37) - if he's ever beaten up Han Solo for lookin at his sister
(38) - if he constantly mistakes R2 units for beer kegs
(39) - if he counts B. O. as a Jedi power
(40) - if he's ever used a light saber to skin a deer
BluebloodJim - sure hope you enjoy that list. When I saw it, I immediately thought of you! ;D
